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Rituals Create a Rhythm

This time of year, the late fall, and the beginning of the holiday season has a different rhythm and feel to it. What do you think?

I start to plan differently, make space in my schedule to slow down, to shift the balance of work, studies, play, and connection—areas which are really overlapping circles in the Venn diagram I imagine.

I easily slip into rituals of baking, shopping, and making gifts, choosing a photo for the holiday card (I am a paper and pen gal), envisioning my yearly drawing that will accompany our card, and more.

What rituals and habits support you?  What has become second nature and comfortable?

What new traditions are you creating in response to your changing circumstances?

These questions are equally relevant to our work, wouldn’t you agree?

What practices do you bring to your work to create and hold space, build rapport, increase connection, and nurture success?

I considered this question, “How are working in person and online similar and different?” with a new lens last week at an in-person training (an event that remains relatively rare).

Here are a few of the methods I use in my training and facilitation work.

  • When I’m online I ask people about where their feet touch the ground, to learn where people are coming from at that moment —literally—to create greater awareness of who is in the room. And I share that I live and work on the land of the Munsee Lenape and the Schaghticoke, in New York.
  • When in person, I’m relating to where folks are from yet making that connection in a different way. Last week when I was in NYC with participants from the five boroughs, I shared where I lived in the city, on the land of the Lenape on the Upper West Side, during my years in graduate school, and saw nods of recognition around the room.
  • Rituals in my work include using methods and practices that will create a warm and welcoming environment by recognizing people’s individuality and their group affiliations.
  • I plan for co-creating the learning experience. I endeavor to ensure that participants are fully engaged not merely consuming content, which means making the time and space for participants to think, question, practice with real-life applications, reflect, capture their knowledge, and plan for using it.
  • Asking for their written feedback about their learning and experiences is a sign of respect (from me to the participants) and an opportunity for me to learn what was new, important, interesting, perhaps puzzling, and what can be improved.

In your work, what are rituals, routines, habits, or practices that serve you and others?

What needs to be explored for its continuing efficacy, as people and circumstances change?

What is your North Star/the values or principles that guide your assessment?

My approach for all design and re-imagining/re-design—whether for change and growth in my personal or work worlds—is the 5D model of Appreciative Inquiry, because it:

  • is supportive/grounded on a positive foundation
  • exploratory
  • invites experimentation
  • flexible, and
  • results/success oriented.

I seek to create rituals, habits, and practices that support my own growth and that of everyone with whom I work.

I’d love to learn what you think and feel as you take a step back to reflect on the habits and practices that support you. Perhaps you will even share one or two with me!

Feeling Gratitude & Being Appreciative

Off the top of my head, and in less than 5 minutes, I generated all these ideas—big and small, specific and general of people, relationships, and experiences that fill me with gratitude.

As I breathe in the crisp, cold, early morning air as I walk Gus, a sense of gratitude washes over me. I start to explore that feeling.  A cascade of experiences and names of people start tumbling through my mind— the training courses I have attended, the courses created and delivered, the people met, the new relationships formed, the books read and listened to, the places traveled, times with family and friends, and the list goes on. And these are very specific memories I’m thinking of—like snapshots in my mind.

Honestly, there have been challenges this year too. Life is full of ups and downs. In my world of family and friends—sickness, chronic conditions, and death—to the state of our country, the ever-present scourges of racism, misogyny, lack of adequate food, healthcare, and housing, gun violence, immigration atrocities, unequal educational opportunities, our class system, the reality of climate change, unstable geopolitics, and more.

I have had to develop ways to effectively work with and handle these realities. In essence, I am particular about the sources of information I choose to consume and conscious of the “right” amount of information. I seek to be informed and engaged without becoming overwhelmed as this is the way I move forward.

What are the tools and resources you use to re-balance?

Who and what support you in your efforts to live in a state of equilibrium?

I want to be sure that I’m being clear that working to achieve equilibrium through:

  • eating well
  • hydrating
  • exercising
  • connecting with family and friends
  • learning
  • creating art consistently
  • and reading books that challenge me

enables me to volunteer my time to organizations/causes I believe in and pursue my (rigorous) studies in chaplaincy. I’m not talking about ignoring the world and our challenges to sit and eat bonbons on the couch (but you knew that). I am talking about ensuring that I have the energy to pursue change in my personal and the larger world.

Here are just a few books I’ve read over the past few years that support my mind, body, and soul. Perhaps you will find one or more of them interesting.

I’d love to hear from you about the resources and practices you turn to on this journey. Please share them!

I realize what a very full year I have had…   I am reminded of how much there is to appreciate in my life. With that in mind, I was thinking it’s time to offer another Appreciative Living Learning Circle. It seems fitting to start before the end of this year and continue it into the beginning of next year. If you’re curious to learn more, check my Calendar page.