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When was the last time you…

Just the other day, a colleague of mine asked, “How were you able to get that position?” My answer was, “I just asked. “

When was the last time that you saw an opportunity, and while it was new, different or out of the ordinary, you asked for what you wanted, needed, or thought was helpful?

What did/does that feel like?

There’s excitement, anticipation, and perhaps a little trepidation for me.

My most recent ask was about doing a Clinical Pastoral Education internship at a small local organization that serves survivors of human trafficking, Crossing Point Arts.

(This isn’t quite as out of the blue as it may sound… In college, I volunteered at a rape crisis center and continued volunteering with programs in New York City when I moved here for graduate school. I directed two programs in New Jersey and also served as an expert witness. My desire to volunteer with Crossing Point Arts feels natural, a fond reminder of the many years I spent in the anti-sexual violence movement.)

Honestly, a chaplain in a social service agency is an anomaly. This isn’t a hospital setting where roles and rules are quite clearly defined, and there’s a true container for your experiences. I am fortunate to find a place that sees the importance of offering my services, as chaplains provide a compassionate presence to vulnerable people needing spiritual care/support in understanding and making meaning from their experiences. (Spiritual care comprises showing up with an open mind/without preconceptions, bearing witness/listening deeply, and acting compassionately.)

I love creating new spaces within which to bring my expertise and enthusiasm. Those aspects of who I am brought me to two other consulting positions this year.

What about you?

  • Which areas of interest, expertise or insight have inspired you to ask about possibilities? 
  • In reflecting over the past year or so, where have you stepped into an opportunity or forged a different path? 

Of course, this isn’t always about starting something brand new it can be broadening and/or deepening an existing practice.

And, to be honest, I am a data, facts, and research gal. When I make an ask, I have acknowledged why enthusiasm and checked in with reality—is the the right next step…

I’d love to hear your stories. I hope you will share with me… we could grab a cuppa joe and chat!

Stepping into Vital Conversations

What kinds of conversations are challenging for you? Are there certain topics, particular people, or a combination of these variables that stop you in your tracks? I think these are questions for both our professional and our personal lives. 

Please make the time right now to pause and ponder those questions.
What bubbles up for you?

                                            I’d be curious to learn your answers if you’re inclined to share them. 

As I reflect, everything I do in my work and in my personal pursuits is about communication —  being a 

visual practitioner is about communication— making visible ideas, dreams, plans, questions, concerns, processes, and more

trainer demands clear communication of knowledge, practices, directions, insights, and feedback 

facilitator requires listening and hearing beyond the words to the meanings and feelings, supporting the development of intra- and inter-personal dynamics

coach is offering companionship on the journey of transformation — being a sounding board, sometimes a mirror, the person who asks just the right question, in the moment, that opens up new ideas and avenues of possibility, “How might you…” or steps into the role of provocateur. 

chaplain means being present, standing with people where they are, helping them find their own values, ethics or spiritual beliefs for their healing, and bearing witness

Whether it’s with other people or with myself, there are “conversations” or topics that are more difficult to approach and to work with to achieve the desired outcome (and by this I mean staying in the conversation and strengthening the relationship not achieving a certain answer).

In my post, “Let’s talk,” on VEOLI.net (Visualizing End of Life Issues), I ask you to take on a critically important conversation with those you are closest to in your life. I hope you will read it, think deeply about it, ask me questions if you have them, and engage in these sometimes challenging, most often heart-opening, and truly life-affirming discussions. I’m also happy to provide support in the process, you know where to find me.

And please, if you have even the tiniest inclination to tell me how it’s going—the good, the bad, and/or the ugly—be in touch with me. 

286 hours…A Time of Transition 

I am about to complete, a long, intense, and deeply satisfying internship. Now is the time of transition for me. The change—from being in the hospital seeing patients and in-class wrestling with thoughts, feelings, and questions—will end next week though I have been on the emotional roller-coaster of the ending for a week or so—that’s transition.*

I sat with my preceptor on Wednesday and said, “I am still here and I already miss being here.”

Do you ever have those feelings? You’re still in the experience and yet mourning its end?

And then in class last night, I also welcomed the change of pace that will occur as soon as I am done, as it’s been just about 35 hours a week of placement, classes, readings, and papers—in addition to my everyday work that I also love, and making time for family, friends, and self-care.

The true dichotomy of wanting to continue the experience and also the sense of peace (and relief) that settles in when a “chapter” is complete… 

Have you had experiences and feelings that are similar?

What is it about certain experiences that makes them qualitatively different?

Happily, in my class, I was assigned the last slot of the semester for the delivery of my presentation/“Didactic & Dialogue.” I took the opportunity to tell the story of my lived experience over the months in pictures and words…what I learned about myself, people as individuals and in relationships, life, death, pain, suffering, happiness, connection, power, self-care, silence, the systems within which I was working (hospital, department, university, and class/group), and more. It felt big. It was big.

While I do a lot of reflecting on my learning and life through drawing my thoughts, wonderings, opinions, and plans, I don’t often do so religiously. Over the course of 16 weeks, I filled a notebook and then culled over 100 ideas that I want to explore more deeply. I’ve started creating diary comics to further process and then share my musings…  I think I will discover even more through this process and perhaps it will become a graphic memoir. 

This finite timeframe certainly made it easier for me to capture the dynamic and multi-faceted nature of this great adventure though I am taking with me a newfound love of creating containers around experiences and finding simple ways to memorialize them.

I’d love to hear the ways in which you choose to capture aspects of your life and how you carve out time and space to reflect upon your journaling, drawing, artwork, or… I hope to hear from you!

 

*My favorite resource on this topic is Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes by William Bridges.

Musings on gratitude…

Here’s a peek into another facet of my life… I am in training to be a (Buddhist) chaplain. In my fieldwork for this role, I was asked by my supervisor if I wanted to step into the opportunity to prepare and deliver a service to the hospital community. While I was unsure of how to create such a piece of work, my interest was piqued by the challenge. As you can imagine, I said, “Yes!”

Here is my writing about gratitude that I shared in the chapel at the hospital yesterday, and that was broadcast on the hospital system (for those who turned to the designated channel). To my delight, (because there’s no way to know if anyone is watching on television) one of the patients I have met with several times mentioned that she was watching and enjoyed my service… who doesn’t love David Whyte, right? 

I hope that you will read my first attempt at this type of writing (not a sermon, not a dharma talk), and let me know what you think!

 

Wishing you, your family, and friends peace,

Jill

Friends, 

Good morning! Thank you for joining us this morning.

I feel both the delight and the weight of sharing thoughts and prayers with you before Thanksgiving.

Traditionally, the most wonderful aspects of this holiday are making time to acknowledge that for which we are thankful in our lives, and the gathering of our families—however, we define that—from near and far. We know, that in these current circumstances, we must navigate this Thanksgiving differently. Families may not come together as in years past — because we have lost loved ones, we want to keep ourselves or others safe, or the burden is too much to manage this year with changes in our life circumstances. 

I personally feel sadness and longing as I will not see half my family and many friends in person this year because we will remain distant with the hope that we may gather safely next year.

Though, as we come together this morning, we make time to pause and reflect on all we have experienced this year, there is much to consider. We can recognize the challenges and those experiences we were, and are, able to savor.

I’d like to share with you a few thoughts from one of my favorite poets. David Whyte, who explores gratitude as a quality of being, as a way of understanding ourselves in relationship to all that exists.

Perhaps we can think of Thanksgiving and beyond, to create more of a practice of gratefulness every day. I am inspired by Br. David Steindl-Rast when he shares, in A Grateful Day,

Do you think this is just another day in your life? It’s not just another day. It’s the one day that is given to you. Today. It’s a gift. It’s the only gift that you have right now. And the only appropriate response is gratefulness. If you learn to respond as if it were the first day in your life and the very last day, then you will have spent this day very well… Look at the sky. We so rarely look at the sky. We so rarely note how different it is from moment to moment, with clouds coming and going. Open your eyes, look at that. Look at the faces of people you meet. Each one has an incredible story behind that face not only their own story but the story of their ancestors… Open your heart to the incredible gifts that civilization gives to us. You flip a switch and there is electric light, turn a faucet and there is warm water and cold water, and drinkable water. A gift that millions and millions in the world will never experience.

And so I wish you that you will open your heart to all these blessings and let them flow through you. That everyone whom you will meet on this day will be blessed by you, just by your presence. 

Let the gratefulness overflow into blessing all around you. Then it will really be a good day.

And, so my question is, from my recent reading of Judy Lief’s work, 

  • What are we grateful for this year—both for what has and hasn’t happened?
  • What has gone well and what difficulties have you escaped?

Let me pause so that you may reflect and answer for yourself.…

Perhaps the gentle reminder of a prayer (from Thilini Ariyachandra ) will connect us with our beliefs so that we carry the thoughts and feelings within us through Thanksgiving day and beyond.

Let us pray in the name of all that is good.

May we all be well, happy and peaceful,

May no harm come to us,

May we all also have patience, courage, understanding, and determination to meet and overcome inevitable difficulties, problems, and failures in life.

May our parents, our teachers and mentors, our friends and may all living beings across the world…be well, happy and peaceful. May no harm come to them,

May they also have patience, courage, understanding, and determination to meet and overcome inevitable difficulties, problems, and failures in life.

Let us take a silent moment to add to this prayer with our own, personal prayer.

If you are a patient or staff member, we are praying for you.

In my role as a chaplain, I seek to embody these ideas from Tenzin Gyatso. 

May I become at all times, both now and forever
A protector for those without protection
A guide for those who have lost their way
A ship for those with oceans to cross
A bridge for those with rivers to cross
A sanctuary for those in danger
A lamp for those without light
A place of refuge for those who lack shelter
And a servant to all in need.

When you need or want support and care, reach out to those—chaplain, clergy, family member, or friend, who can offer you their presence, to be with you, to help lift your clouds of sorrow, and bring calming breezes that will strengthen your heart and soul.

And, so I ask the question that Mary Oliver posed years ago, “What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? My answer is, in part, that I will take up my gratitude practice again, noting each day three good events in my life and my explanations for them. And, I will start by saying thank you to all of you for being here with me and sharing your time with me this morning. It is a privilege and a joy to be here. 

Wishing you a Thanksgiving day full of warmth, connection, and gratitude, and for the days that follow.