Tag Archive for: coaching

Monday Musings: We find what we’re looking for…

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I really believe in the essence of this aphorism.  For me, it means that when we yearn for, search for, or want something, it sometimes shows up —frequently—in the most unexpected places!

I began thinking about this seriously during the Walk for Peace back in February when I drove down to Virginia to witness the event with friends I hadn’t seen in a long time. One of my friends, Cynthia, collects heart-shaped rocks she discovers. I thought that was kind of fun, and she is the inspiration behind my new habit! Now I look at rocks differently/more closely, though I don’t search them out. It really just happens… and it’s no longer just rocks! I see heart-shapes in some of the swirls of paint that I create while making collage papers; I find heart shapes in flower petals or leaves when I’m out walking. It’s an amazing and delightful reminder of my friend and the Walk for Peace.

I found the beauty securing the bouquet in place in the picture above on the first day I foraged in the Peloponnese mountains, in my first adventure creating ephemeral earth art there. Every time I see the picture or the rock (as I brought it home with me), I’m reminded of my wonderful experience.

What about you?
 What do you think about holding things unconsciously in our minds, and how they show up in our lives?

I just learned it’s called the “frequency illusion,” or the Baader–Meinhof phenomenon. It’s not only things that I see, but it’s also what catches my ear, so to speak. I experience a greater awareness of certain topics.

It makes me wonder: if I started thinking of new and different things, what might happen?

If I imagine new areas of interest, not just images that catch the eye or topics that I tune in to, will I begin to be more aware of more “coincidences.” I will have to explore this… collect a bit of data. I am intrigued!

Although I am not a person who needs more to think about—even when it’s fun, interesting, or important! I am a gal who has a lot of trouble saying no to offers of new ideas and projects. That’s true of existing commitments I’ve invested time and energy in, too. They have become a part of how I see myself. Just this month, I decided to give up hosting Grateful Gatherings for grateful.org. I’ve been hosting for over a year now. I really love the material, the conversations were heart-opening, and the time commitment was certainly reasonable. It was a hard decision. I have found my life heading in a slightly different direction with other opportunities that I’ve either found, or that have found me, that are reminding me that I can (and perhaps it would be wise to) say “No” to make room for “Yes.”

I’m wondering what you’re thinking about all these musings.
When was the last time you said yes? Or the last time you said no?

And do you say “No” to say “Yes,” or is it not that important to balance out? Perhaps it depends on the opportunity. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

A serendipitous cut into a potato meant for lunch!

 

Looking to the Future While Remembering the Past

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September 3, 2026

I learned this afternoon that this was the longest summer since 2020— from the earliest Memorial Day to the latest Labor Day*.  And it felt like it!

As you reflect on your experiences over the past 106 days, what stands out for you?

 

Earth altar in a tree hollow, in the Peloponnese mountains.

So many of my experiences in this long summer expanded my personal and professional horizons: my artist residency in Greece, completing my certifications as a chaplain and spiritual counselor and as a mindfulness and grief coach, attending Drawing Perspectives: Health Graphic Narratives, Under Pressure, the Graphic Medicine 2026 Conference, enjoying the energy a house guest brings, visiting with a friend I haven’t seen in several years in northern California, hosting several ephemeral earth art sessions at retreats, facilitating an experiential session on trauma-informed care, and more. These were heart-opening—and yet other times were tough—as we weathered a variety of health challenges with our family. It was a summer of learning to cherish the heart-warming times, lean into my “strong back and soft front” (from Roshi Joan Halifax) to be responsive to the moment, and let go of what wasn’t essential. Life is full of opportunities for learning.

 

What are you excited about as we enter this next season?

 

My altar from Saturday morning, a beautiful reminder me that my present holds my past.

Perhaps, “excited” is the wrong word. As you can tell,  this summer felt like a long ride on a roller coaster for me. There were highs and lows. I wasn’t always excited and happy; there were times of uncertainty, worry, sadness, and grief.

A better question is, how are you entering this new season? What’s on your mind and in your heart? What’s working – in your personal life, perhaps professionally and/or in your community? And what needs work and attention? Where will you put your time and energy in this new season?

Honestly, I’m ready for fall and the simple joy that comes with a routine. At the end of May, I said a formal goodbye to my colleagues at Bikablo – though my love and use of visualization are a part of all I do. I will continue coaching visual practitioners—both new and experienced—who are seeking a new lens to re-view and advance their work.

 

One piece from the session on the seasons of our lives at the Portland Institute retreat.

In reality, my plan for change began in earnest in January of 2025, I began the exciting journey of shifting my work to focus on my passion for end-of-life literacy and planning. In the summer of 2025, I completed the Arts-Assisted Grief Therapy Certificate from the Portland Institute for Loss and Transition. In December, I became a certified Morning Altar’s Teacher, adding this new area to my collection of workshops addressing end-of-life planning, grief, loss, change, transition, and self-care. The Mindfulness and Grief Coaching work and my own arts-focused grief coaching program, heART-mind Grief Coaching, complement my workshops and retreats focusing on self-care and personal development.

I’ve got some plans. I bet you do too.
I’d love to hear yours. I hope you will be in touch. 

 

  • The combination of Memorial Day on May 25 and Labor Day on September 7 created an unofficial summer window of 106 calendar days. The same 106-day stretch last happened in 2020, and we will not experience a “mega Summer of this maximum length again until 2037.

Wrapping Up!

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Looking Back at Fall

What a delight to devote time to sharing impressions, questions, ideas, and plans for the future! Yesterday, graduates of Francesca Arnoldy’s Death Literacy Educator Program met to discuss the experiences of those who hosted the Living Fully, Dying Prepared Community Series, sponsored by a Compassion & Choices grant. The meeting prompted me to re-read the feedback received from the two groups I facilitated. My experiences held similarities and differences. The groups, from two counties, wanted to read the book, share personal stories, ask questions, make plans for their someday, one-day deaths, and find a safer space to open up about topics not often discussed in families or among friends. The differences were around the ways in which the groups approached these elements of the series: the desire for logistical information (What is a green burial? Why might I need an estate lawyer? What is MAID/Medical Aid in Dying and what’s happening with the legislation in NY?), the depth of conversation about personal relationship-oriented challenges, and the engagement in introspection and quiet moments (versus almost continuous discussion). Here are just a few of their comments:

The series:

“… made me aware of the need to both think about my death and to make the most of my remaining life.”

“… motivated me to plan death and live life more fully. Saying yes to more things now.”

“… met my needs. It was thought provocative; covered the hard conversations when it deals with oneself.”

Several of us spoke about how participants are continuing to meet after the series’s conclusion—to have this special “container” to talk and stay accountable. It is a testament to people’s appreciation of the book, the work they accomplished, and the desire to be in community, talking about these (often considered) taboo topics.

This year, I gained new knowledge and skills in creating rituals, which I am now using to support meaning-making and conversation around the tender areas of grief, loss, and transitions. On December 6th, I hosted, Experience the Alchemy of Nature, Ritual, and Creativity. It was a multi-layered and rich experience with women who were ready to explore, create, and share what was on their hearts on that day. The Padlet I created, which we could easily use to view everyone’s work, became a gorgeous gallery. Perhaps even more fascinating was listening to each person tell her story about the questions she was working with, the personal meanings of the materials she chose, how they contributed to the design, and their feelings upon completion.

Continuing to Offer Spaces for Conversation of (Generally) Taboo Topics

The Death Cafés I host in my county and for a Creative Mornings Club are also inviting spaces for open, relaxed conversation. Last month we talked about broaching the topics of dying, death, and planning for quality of life with family, the challenges of working through unfinished business with a family member who has died, how often people don’t know how to talk with us about our grief, the devastating impact of loss of our close relationships, that grief isn’t linear and there isn’t a fixed timeline for healing, resources exist and yet we often forget to look for them as our focus becomes so focused—on our pain and grief. Every Café is different, dependent on who attends and what is on their mind.

Looking forward into Winter

Before the year’s end, there are two death cafés (in person)—December 28th in NYC through Creative Mornings, and December 30th in Suffern, NY.

I’m excited to offer Welcome in the New Year through Nature, Ritual, and Creativity on January 3rd at 11 AM ET online.

For those who love Appreciative Inquiry, using it as a lens to look at all of life, I will offer an Appreciative Living Learning Circle, beginning on January 31st, for four weeks.

It’s my plan to offer another in-person series of Living Fully, Dying Prepared in the new year, and I would like to expand the opportunity and create an online group, too. The online group will begin in February, and the in-person series will begin in the early spring.

These different gatherings are opportunities for self-reflection, exploration, discovery, and creation within the experience of a safer container. They are described more fully on my calendar.

And, if you feel that one-to-one coaching is the best modality for you for these experiences, please reach out to me. If starting on any of these journeys is made easier by reading books or listening to podcasts, I’ve developed a curated list of resources. If you’d like a conversation to suss out what will best support you, or the list of resources. Send me an email or use my calendar link for a brief conversation.

It’s about the how as much as the what, and definitely the why!

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In my travels over the past few weeks, I’ve met folks who didn’t know me or my work. Answering the question of what I do, sometimes feels challenging!

Have you had that experience? What do you say? How has your response changed over time?

In the (recent) past I would briefly answer, “I teach people to think and draw so they can communicate more effectively” without getting into the details of visualization or bikablo.

My new answer is, “I help people visualize… (Wait, what does that mean?) to express, share, and capture ideas through combining drawings and words, to more effectively communicate.”

When sharing about visualization/Bikablo

It’s about the how…how to

  • hold the marker
  • draw the various types of lines
  • attend to the details
  • create layouts 
  • use color 
  • understand and use the methodology

and the what

Simple planning for the weekend.

Whether we are “talking” to ourselves (planning, strategizing, remembering, creating) or working with others (graphically recording a meeting, event or training, graphically facilitating an experience, coaching, or training) we are clear about our purpose—it is not art. We consciously do it all in service of clear communication.

When talking about Zentangle 

I share with people, “I teach a meditative art form.” (Wait, what does that mean?)

My new answer is, “I help students create beautiful designs through drawing simple, structured patterns. In the process of learning, they gain perspective about their capabilities and a new understanding of themselves.”

By learning the Zentangle method, its philosophy, and drawing techniques, I guide people in discovering their inner artists.

It’s about the how…how to 

  • use the five marks of Zentangle in a variety of combinations 
  • work within guidelines for drawing
  • integrate the philosophy so that it becomes a practice
  • become more mindful, relax and focus
  • breathe and let go when we make mistakes (as we will inevitably do… we are human)

It is an easy shift, for everyone I work with, to understand that we are the artists, the creators of our work and our lives.

As artists/people, we all face challenges— interacting with others, with materials, living within systems, learning and failing, and more. 

 

 

Why do you do what you do? What have you noticed about why you have chosen your work?

I’ve noticed patterns in my life. I have always gravitated toward transformational work—whether it is my personal growth or the needs and desires of those I want to work with or the systems that I believe need to change.

My work continues to evolve—now I seek to be more aware of the inner struggles, learning and growth of individuals… discovering and shining a light on people’s strengths, values, and capabilities, and asking people what supports them through challenges. I find that I can ask these questions no matter the content that I am sharing (or the hat I am wearing).

What is your thinking about your work… the what, the how, and the why?

If I asked you for a brief and rich description of your work and why you do it—what would you say? I’d like to know.

Clarity of purpose—it’s an essential ingredient for success!

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Time is precious. How I spend my 168 hours* each week is of great importance to me.  I’m the gal who squeezes out every possible juiciness from my day.  I choose my play and work with care. 

Lately, I find myself reflecting on a variety of my engagements. How I am spending my valuable time?

The questions I ask myself include: 

  • Am I a fit for this organization, program, or experience?  
  • What was, and is, my purpose in being a part of this endeavor?
  • Am I achieving my goals and/or re-designing them to meet my developing needs?
  • Am I surrounding myself with people of the same mindset that I seek to live into—curiosity, hope, discernment, full engagement, and a willingness to tackle the challenges that arise with an eye toward the goals to be achieved?

What describes—or how do you envision—

successful, productive, life-affirming working, learning, and playful relationships?

These questions are not academic for me.

Several recent conversations have prompted me to realize that by returning to my touchstone of purpose, I am best able to answer my questions.

In one instance, re-grounding myself enabled me to speak with clarity about where I am in the moment and what I hope for the future of the organization. 

In a different conversation, I realized my colleagues and I have come together because of a shared interest in the learning experience yet we are all so different. While we felt an instant camaraderie, when we being to listen deeply to each other, our ways of being in the world were clashing causing disharmony. Perhaps we will find ways to come together though I am not sure… I also am weighing how much time I will devote to discovering the answer. 

What’s your thinking about engaging in learning, working, and playing relationships?

How do you find the right partners for those adventures and endeavors?

I am reminded that being clear about my purpose(s) becomes both my compass and my lens as I step into new adventures and make time to assess current projects and relationships.

How are you spending your precious time? 

* If you’re seeking support in wrangling what you want from your time (because time management is self-management, right?), I highly recommend 168 Hours by Laura Vanderkam. I’ve also just learned of Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman. I can’t wait to listen to it! And, one of my favorite resources, The Joy of Appreciative Living by Jackie Kelm, offers a different lens for viewing how we engage in our lives. My Appreciative Living coaching is one of my favorite offerings … maybe it’s a gift you give yourself this summer. If you’re interested, let’s talk!

All materials copyright ©2019 Jill Greenbaum, Ed.D. All rights reserved.