How do you work through hesitating, second guessing, stopping or… and embrace uncertainty?
Do you ever put off something challenging or even stop yourself… when moving forward is best, if daunting?
Tuesday was primary day in New York. My daughter was running for one of the county commissioner seats in Brooklyn. Early in the day, she sent me photos of herself and a flyer with her name on it. I loved the photos and immediately posted them on Facebook because I thought it was so great! When I told her I posted them, she asked me to take them down. I double-checked and she was firm. I felt disappointed. I so appreciated her energy and moxie, and wanted to celebrate it. She said, “I don’t want to share because if I lose I’ll have to explain that I lost.” My response was, “There is glory in the running! And, I understand and will take them down.” I waited (impatiently) for the results and then posted the photos—because she won a seat!
When is the last time you wavered before taking a challenge or revealing that you were doing something where you might fail, lose, or feel embarrassed? What did you do?
There is no one answer for what’s right here. We are all different, circumstances vary, and we each have a continuum of comfort around risk, embarrassment, losing, and more.
Were you able to work your way through the feelings of hesitancy?
When I pause (significantly) to ponder whether to share a new challenge with uncertain results, I work to recall my past successes. They form the foundation for moving into the endeavor.
Did you remember that there is no predicting the future? We just can’t know what will happen. Did you fortify your inner risk-taker, rally your support network or maybe reach out to an ally who continuously champions you?
I totally believe what I said to my daughter and understand her hesitancy.
I’m about to apply for some consulting work that I would really like and I’ll be disappointed if I don’t get it. But this is the life I have chosen—to continuously put myself out there in the world and work with the results.
More immediately, I’m about to teach a Zentangle pattern that I find particularly challenging (Rick’s Paradox). I don’t see it as easily as other patterns. So I’m taking extra time and practicing before doing the work in my beautiful book. I’ve heard the same kind of hesitation about drawing from participants in my sessions. We all wonder about the drawing we will do and whether it will meet our hopes, desires, or expectations. I always hope for the best, discover what happens in the moment, breathe deeply, and use my skills when I feel challenged.
This is what I said to one of the participants just recently,
“Ah, it is a challenge! I believe that I will do my best to create the beautiful designs and knowing that I am human, I will probably make mistakes along the way. I work to breathe, let it go, and make it beautiful. I hear you.”
I believe it—and live it—and it isn’t always easy.
One of my most recent resources for working with my emotions and feelings is the book Positive Intelligence by Shirzad Chamine. I am a part of his coach training program and have started to integrate some of his work into my coaching practice with clients. This work feels just like home to me, do you know what I mean? In 2004, I completed Martin Seligman’s Authentic Happiness Coaching Program. (His book, Authentic Happiness is great!) I also value and use Jackie Kelm’s work, The Joy of Appreciative Living: Your 28 Plan to Generate Greater Happiness. Do you know these works? If so, what do you think? I’d love to chat!
In response to the very difficult times I/we are facing, I reach out to friends and colleagues, and gather resources and methods, that will support my self-care so I can step into working to address the challenges of our lives.
What about you?
If you would like to talk about great resources or are ready to step more fully into the work and the play of your life, please reach out to me!
*Written on Wednesday… it’s been a full week!