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Great reads!

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Summer reading… What did you love and learn in your explorations this summer—whether (physical) books, audiobooks, or maybe even podcasts?

While my list isn’t typical when I reflect on the phrase “summer reading” (which means “beach reads” or light fare to me),  I have loved and learned a lot. Here’s my list (beginning in late spring):

  • 10% Happier, Dan Harris
  • How to Say Good-bye, Wendy McNaughton
  • Kalyanamitra: A Model for Buddhist Spiritual Care, Rev. Dr. Monica Sanford 
  • Last Things: A Graphic Memoir About ALS, Marissa Moss 
  • Ronan and the Endless Sea of Stars, Rick Louis and Lara Antal
  • The World Could Be Otherwise, Norman Fischer
  • There is Never Anything but the Present, Alan Watts

I am in the midst of the workbook Living Fully and Dying Prepared by Francesca Lynn Arnoldy and cannot recommend it highly enough for everyone. She does in writing and through exercises what I endeavor to do in all my sessions on visual obituary creation and end-of-life planning—engaging in creative explorations of our lives and our wishes for care in our final days and weeks. This work brings a new appreciation of our present lives.

Are you looking ahead to September? I am planning new reading adventures, knowing that I have some books on my list for my studies and others that have piqued my interest. Next up for me is How to Tell a Story by The Moth, though I will listen to it in the car on my way to Maine in a few weeks. After listening to the book, I plan to call The Moth pitch line with an idea. Unbelievably, after attending the Creative Mornings program in which Catherine Burns was the speaker, I won The Moth: A Game of Storytelling! While it hasn’t arrived in the mail yet I can’t wait to open it and discover how to play. No doubt it will enhance my storytelling skills!

I’d love to hear what’s on your list—from the summer and the fall! I hope you will share!

Finding Joy in Reviewing Our Lives

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Earlier this summer, I was a guest speaker for “Death Panels: Exploring Dying and Death Through Comics” at the University of Chicago’s Institute on the Formation of Knowledge. 

 My topic, “Creating a Visual Obituary,” is one of my favorites, though I have to say that I had never before facilitated this offering with graduate students. And, I had never worked with a group that had studied dying, death, caregiving, grieving, and memorialization in such depth. I was keen to discover how they would respond to the subject matter (obituaries), the 50 prompts I had created, and the activity (drawing their obituary based on the questions/prompts that resonated for them), which I had used with older audiences. 

The session was really wonderful—the 25 students were engaged, many of the students sharing their ideas and questions easily. When they split into pairs, the room became bubbled with conversation for the first 15 minutes and quiet as they each settled into drawing. 

As they shared their thoughts and feelings about the entire experience, I heard that they had integrated the themes we discussed into their work: who am I writing this for, what will I share, how do I want to be remembered, what were the highlights of my life, what challenges did I work through and how did they shape me, who have I been close with, how did I live my values, and more.

I loved the experience and plan to offer it more… it’s akin to creating your visual life story or a life review. I’ve also created a visual lineage chart—important people in my life and experiences I have had. It’s another piece that I cherish.

Are you interested in learning more? I’d love to share my ideas about sharing our memories.

If you’re curious about the hand-drawn visuals I create in support of people planning for the end of their lives (often these are folks in their 50’s and 60’s), I hope you will join the TEDxSantaBarbara Salon on August 23rd. Learn more here, and please reach out to me with your questions!

Perhaps the first step into one of the most important conversations of your life

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Just last Friday, I had the amazing opportunity to present, Visual Storytelling for End-of-Life Planning at the Creative Mornings 2023 Showcase, Reverie. 

I am passionate about creating well-informed and meaningful conversations about all aspects of our lives, from birth through dying and death. There is so much to learn because we have many choices and want to make thoughtful decisions. I truly believe such rich conversations can easily lead us to more deeply appreciate every day of our lives. 

Here is the text from my 90-second talk; I wanted to share it with you. It is my invitation—really my gift—of an easy path into such conversations with your family and close friends.

Hi! I‘m Jill Greenbaum, a visual story catcher and advocate of the Death Positive movement.

I have a question for you: Would you be open to having a conversation about your current health, your work, and planning for your someday one-day death? Maybe two out of three?

To quote a colleague of mine, Jan Booth: 

“Starting a deep exploration of dying and death on our deathbed is unlikely….” 

I believe planning for our dying and death is one of the most important elements of our lives. What would you like to be the story—the plan—for your death?

  • What are your values about living and dying?
  • Where do you want to be in your final weeks?
  • Who will be with you?
  • How would you like to be in your environment —what music, scents, and visuals will be in the space?
  • What are your wishes for your life celebration, funeral, or memorial?
  • Have you thought about the disposition of your body after death?

I ask these questions, listen for answers, and create drawings that become living documents for in-depth, heart-opening, and vitally important conversations in families and among friends. 

I’ve shared one example of my work.

You can ask these questions of yourself and have these conversations too.

Please explore the wealth of resources that exist about creating the end-of-life experience you desire—for yourself and your loved ones. It is a journey that can help prepare you and will increase your appreciation of every day of your life. 

I hope that you will reach out to me with your comments and questions.

And, if you’re interested in having a gently guided conversation with me about your experience for your someday, one-day death, while I capture your plans in images and words, let’s have a coffee together to discuss the opportunity—in person or over Zoom.

PS: I thought it might be helpful to share my background in the end-of-life experience planning space. Y’all are connected with me through a great variety of my endeavors—visualization work, training, facilitation, coaching, Zentangle, and more. I have drafted a visual that shares my education, training, and experience in this end-of-life work. I hope it is interesting and informative. Of course, I’m happy to answer any questions that arise for you. 

Loving my daily practice! How’re you feeling about yours?

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What makes daily practice easier?

I’m an Advocate (with a capital “A”) of daily practice, and have learned a thing or two over the past few years about what supports me in achieving consistency in this special endeavor. I have created guidelines for myself that I reflect on before diving headlong into a new practice period. (I love defined beginnings and endings.)

What about you? When was the last time you sat with yourself, perhaps enjoying a beverage, and mused about what makes practicing and growing your craft (whatever it might be) easier, more fun, and successful?

I’ve just concluded Bijou’s* Be Well, 21-Day Zentangle Journey. That experience and another, with mindful stitching every day, reminded me of what keeps me engaged in the “daily-ness” of it. Here are my realizations:

The practice needs to:

  1. be immediately clear to me—what am I working on today? 
  2. be brief—15 to a maximum of 25 minutes per day
  3. the set-up for the work has to be simple or left for me to come back to easily (without taking over a portion of our home)
  4. provide a sense of completion in my chosen timeframe (I don’t have to finish a piece though I have to find a place to stop comfortably to feel accomplished)
  5. keep me moving forward—revisiting a rusty skill, refining a new technique, deepening my competence, or broadening my repertoire
  6. bring me pleasure or joy—”plorking” (playing and working) with the materials, having fun messing about, achieving my desired result (these last two areas sometimes occur on their own and sometimes in concert—think of a Venn diagram)

I learned with the mindful stitching practice—making a small square or rectangle a day using one or more stitches and/or threads—that I:

  • had to work too hard to think of what I would do
  • didn’t want to put the work down until I finished the square for the day—because who wants to fall off the schedule?
  • worked for too long (and I saw my evenings evaporate)
  • had to learn too much to be able to move forward at my desired pace.

Of course, I could have engaged in a kobayashi-maru** (changed the conditions of the work to be done) but that wasn’t what I wanted to do. I finished the month, am proud of my work, and won’t do that again! 

On the other hand, the Bijou’s Be Well 21-day Zentangle Journey was perfect for me! It ticked all the boxes. And because I loved it so much I went a bit beyond my (self-imposed) timeframe, making multiple tiles of some patterns) because it brought me such joy.

I have just started Tammy Garcia’s ICAD/Index-Card-A-Day Challenge. (You’re not too late; it just started yesterday, lmk if you join!). I have started it before and had a little trouble staying on track because I’ve had to think about the prompts I want to use instead of just taking hers (which don’t always feel like a  fit for me). However, since I’ve just come off such great success with the Zentangle Journey, I am all in. I will say that my good buddy, Julia, is doing it too, and the incentive to do it together and support each other over the 61 days (because that’s a long time!) has bolstered my resolve. Another important piece to this is that I am focused on fun and experimentation—leaving “results” to show up as they will. That wasn’t true of my tangling days, as I am very focused on the end result there… This will be a fun shift in perspective! Perhaps you will join me?

I know that I have waxed on about the joys and challenges of daily practice. It is my hope, (as it was my intention), to ask you to reflect on your (perhaps)unarticulated) guidelines for ensuring that you are growing and enjoying your daily practice—whether it’s drawing, tangling, painting, gardening, running, writing or…

I would LOVE to hear about how you stay on track; please tell me!

I’ll be posting my ICAD journey on insta @jillig, though my Zentangle play is on insta @letstangletogether. I hope you will visit and chat with me there!

 

(*FYI—Bijou is the name of a type of tile/paper we work with in Zentangle and the name of a whimsical, wise character/personality in Zentanlge lore.) You can learn more here, https://zentangle.com/blogs/blog/bijous-be-well-bundle-a-21-day-tangling-journey)

** for all you Star Trek fans out there

Hey there, how are ya?  (All answers are accepted!)

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What are you thinking and feeling about your mental health at this moment?

What’s your immediate reaction to me asking you this question? 

If someone asked me that question out of the blue, I’d think, “Good!” and then pause for a beat to check in with myself, going more deeply into what mental health means to me…

If I asked you to describe “mental health” what would you say? 

When I think about it, a vision of a color wheel/circle pops into my mind, representing the various areas of my life—relationships, work, play, physical health, emotions, safety/security (physical and financial), participating in/giving back to society… and feeling equanimous in these areas. Of course, adding the critical recognition that life is full of change, we experience a range of emotions and work with our feelings and thoughts, tapping into our resilience skills, and perhaps connecting with others, to create the path back to greater clarity, calm and focus when needed. 

In recognition of May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I thought I should share something more substantial than my thinking… In searching for a description, I discovered, 

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), mental health is “a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community.” (World Health Organization. Promoting mental health: concepts, emerging evidence, practice (Summary Report) Geneva: World Health Organization; 2004.)

I dug a little deeper, discovered, and prefer this description, 

“Mental health is a dynamic state of internal equilibrium which enables individuals to use their abilities in harmony with universal values of society. Basic cognitive and social skills; ability to recognize, express and modulate one’s own emotions, as well as empathize with others; flexibility and ability to cope with adverse life events and function in social roles; and harmonious relationship between body and mind represent important components of mental health which contribute, to varying degrees, to the state of internal equilibrium.” (From World Psychiatry)

Let’s reconsider my question. 

I’d venture to say that we all experience times of disequilibrium and the need for support in regaining our sense of harmony.

What is the variety of easily accessible methods you use to regain your equilibrium? My list includes the following:

  • meditation 
  • guided visualizations
  • reaching out to a caring, supportive friend who will listen deeply*
  • taking a walk by myself
  • making time to sit in the sun with a cup of coffee 
  • making art
  • tangling/stepping into the Zentangle experience

* Whether for myself or with others, I am clear about helping, fixing, and serving. I take my cue from Rachel Remen.  “So, fundamentally, helping, fixing, and serving are ways of seeing life. When you help, you see life as weak; when you fix, you see life as broken; and when you serve, you see life as whole.” (See the full piece here)

And so, I offer up a few of my tangled tiles, created as a part of the 21-day Zentangle journey through May as Mental Health Awareness Month. I hope they inspire you to take good care of yourself, find what serves you, and reach out to me if I can be of service to you in crafting a life of equanimity. Take good care.