Has anyone ever named you or called you a title that was new to you, or didn’t feel right? Perhaps they saw an aspect of you that you hadn’t recognized about yourself? 

Just yesterday, when I was talking with a new colleague about a project, she called me a “creative.” Of course, in the scheme of things, the work that I do is on the creative side, but that’s an adjective, and I don’t see myself as a “creative” (the noun).

I kind of liked it, and I imagined a visual. I would be standing in the middle of a word cloud, surrounded by all kinds of labels/titles/proper nouns.

What are precise words or word combinations that describe not only me but how I do what I do—getting to the heart of the matter:

• partner, mother, daughter, pet guardian, friend, volunteer
• graphic facilitator
• Appreciative Inquiry coach 
• death literacy specialist
• contemplative chaplain/spiritual care companion
• former special education teacher, principal, administrator, curriculum developer… educator? 
• what adjectives describe my characteristics—cheerful, compassionate, caring, creative, hard-working, etc. 
• what words share my values—honest, open, spiritual, independence, belonging, learning, authenticity, generosity, equality, compassion, curiosity, creativity, civic engagement, beauty, love, kindness, purpose, integrity, honesty…

What would be the most appropriate descriptors for you?— your work and play—all of you?

This conversation dovetails with the work that I’m doing around creating visual obituaries in workshops, in which people comb their memories for highlights, relationships, achievements, milestones, challenges, learnings, and more. I think that the experience of plumbing the depths of our memories can be a deep, rich, fun, and challenging experience. I would want an obituary, whether written or created as a visual or an audio recording, to provide a full picture, a real understanding of a person. (Of course, that understanding is from the creator of the obituary—beyond the basic facts, touching into values, life experiences, anecdotes, and more. I am not advocating a “warts and all” approach, yet realism is important to me.) 

My idea of a personal history or creating visual stories about my past (or prompting other people to do the same) was expanded early in April when I attended a program with Susan Piver, a Buddhist meditation teacher. We were discussing our personal lineages, meaning who were influences in our lives. She went bigger and broader than I had ever thought before. (This work had been part of my chaplaincy training through the Upaya Zen Center. Our assignments were to copy the patriarchal lineage chart, which was passed down over the centuries, and create a matriarchal chart of our own design, though there are many gaps over the 2,500-year history, as women’s contributions were not recognized for centuries and sporadically at best. And, to create our own lineage chart.) 

Who has influenced you over the course of your life?

I have done my share of thinking about the influences in my life. My lineage chart includes family (blood relatives and chosen members), my educational experiences, my work, volunteer work, and Buddhist practice. When Susan started naming artists and musicians as part of her lineage because of their influence on her, my mind was blown! This idea potentially integrated my visual resumé creations with my lineage chart and invited me to think so much bigger and more precisely… I was on a roll, thinking of artists, musicians, and rethinking what the people on my lineage chart mean to me and who I have been/am/am becoming. 

A memory popped into my head of the wall of the Nike building in San Francisco from one of the years I did the Nike Women’s Marathon there. It inspired me to imagine making a visual that includes all the names of all the people, places, pets, and experiences I had that make me who I am today. What would it look like… like the wall of the Nike building in San Francisco, or maybe a drawing of me in the middle of the space surrounded by rings of names and/or photos, or an upward spiral surrounding my figure in the center?

If you created a written and/or visual history of your life, what stories would you tell? 

Who and what would you include—how have you been influenced by them or those experiences?

 

I am going to think through how I want to represent and honor the people who have been/are an important part of my life… and then endeavor to share the visual with those who are living, to share my gratitude for them, with them. (I just remembered creating this visual quickly in 2020. It’s essentially my academic education and training… it’s a start but not the whole story—and needs to be expanded and updated.)

 

A visual obituary may be part of the final celebration of my life, yet I believe I need to acknowledge and celebrate those I value and care about now. I would not want the task to go undone… tomorrow is not given.