Writing my autobiography… it was like wrestling alligators!
Have you ever written your autobiography?
One assignment for my chaplaincy certification program is to write my autobiography. It was TOUGH! While I have :
- drawn my résumé half a dozen times over the years (having worked in several very different fields)
- illustrated a variety of aspects of my life and work—planning projects, my calendar, reflections, and more
- created a visual obituary, genogram (a diagram that provides a picture of current family relationships over at least three generations), a timeline of major events and influences in my life, and a “lineage” chart for various assignments…
I have never written my autobiography. And honestly, with a word limit of 2,500 words, I still haven’t written a fairly complete one. I’ve circled the earth a number of times—there’s a lot to talk about!
Initially, I thought, “This will be a piece of cake, I know my stories!!” I dove into the task and immediately realized the challenge of discerning what was essential from what I believed to be interesting, perhaps even important, context. On my third try, I made significant progress, though I left out material that I believe is formative to who I am today—there was no space! Honestly, it felt like I was wrestling alligators … not only did I need to tell highlights of my growing up, education, work, and life, but I also had to reflect on these experiences and describe how they have shaped me and my work today as a chaplain. And the piece needed to flow for the listeners and readers.
Ultimately, it was a rich exercise—mining the past for memories of substance, those that led to my growth and change—reflecting on the past with the distance of time/more life experience and seeing myself in new ways because of a greater awareness of the impact of influences, people, and events.
I’d recommend the experience! Not only the recounting of stories but getting deeply into the meaning of the experiences for your life.
On a related note, one of my besties sent me an article from the NY Times, Why I Write My Own Obituary Every Year, by Kelly McMasters). I love this topic (and facilitating my workshop, Sharing Your Memories: Create Your Visual Obituary), so I wrote a letter to the editor sharing my thoughts about obituaries and end-of-life rituals. Alas, It wasn’t published… Here it is:
Each year, I write a death poem, a ritual similar to Kelly McMasters, (Why I Write My Own Obituaries, Sept. 29, 2024). It is a practice among some Zen Buddhists.
When 64, I wrote (in the prescribed format):
Full of promise (my understanding of life)
23,376 opportunities—though even more (my age)
Always more to experience (my feeling approaching/thinking of death)
Live each day fully/Shake the hell out of it! (a teaching that is important to me)
In 2020, when tasked to write an obituary for the course Living Fearlessly (offered by the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care), I created a digital version with photos from my life. During chaplaincy training, I engaged in the thought-provoking experiences of developing visuals about my life—a genogram, a timeline of important people and events, and a lineage chart (noting family, friends, passions, travel, work, volunteering, and spiritual beliefs).
My recent creation, Tree of Life, is a beautiful memorialization and a delight to share with others.
Jill Greenbaum, Ed.D.
Chaplain
I would love to hear your experiences and thoughts on writing about your life and perhaps planning to share about it with others!
While my list isn’t typical when I reflect on the phrase “summer reading” (which means “beach reads” or light fare to me),
10% Happier, Dan Harris
I am in the midst of the workbook Living Fully and Dying Prepared by Francesca Lynn Arnoldy and cannot recommend it highly enough for everyone. She does in writing and through exercises what I endeavor to do in all my sessions on visual obituary creation and end-of-life planning—engaging in creative explorations of our lives and our wishes for care in our final days and weeks. This work brings a new appreciation of our present lives.
that have piqued my interest. Next up for me is How to Tell a Story 
My topic, “Creating a Visual Obituary,” is one of my favorites, though I have to say that I had never before facilitated this offering with graduate students. And, I had never worked with a group that had studied dying, death, caregiving, grieving, and memorialization in such depth. I was keen to discover how they would respond to the subject matter (obituaries), the 50 prompts I had created, and the activity (drawing their obituary based on the questions/prompts that resonated for them), which I had used with older audiences.
