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Getting Un-Stuck!

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What do you do when you’re stuck?

I was stuck the other day…

I took part in an online class, Day Schildkret’s offering on impermanent earth art, and found myself blocked—unable to move forward because of my preconceived notion of what I should be doing/creating.

Day’s beautiful work is symmetrical—and his creations often look like a kaleidoscope though they are made from petals, leaves shells, stones, and more. I entered my design stage of the workshop experience with a vision of what the final product should look like.

The vision of my goal got in the way of moving forward!

When I stepped back and looked at my materials, I felt symmetry would be impossible, certainly in the time I had to complete the task, maybe in any amount of time. With that revelation in mind, I turned to another aspect of the guidelines we had been given, and that was to think of to whom or to what I was dedicating the artwork. With a new lens for viewing the task, I had another avenue for interacting with my materials. I shifted my focus to meaning and not structure, and it led me to my final creation. (If you’re curious about to whom I dedicated my creation, visit my instagram page, @jillig to learn more. While you’re on insta, check out Day’s work too, @morningaltars.)

 

What about you?

When were you last stuck? How did you work through it to a successful result? As you reflect on how to move forward, does your approach depend on what kind of stuck you are? Perhaps you are

  1. feeling anxious about how to start a project
  2. a conflict with a colleague, friend, or family member
  3. a technique you are seeking to improve or master

In reflecting on just these few examples, I notice that I would use different approaches to get unstuck

  1. I’d work to move through the overwhelm at the beginning a project by referring to processes I’d used in the past or by taking a small step on the path that I have visualized. (I like George Kao’s thoughts on visualization of the process and not just the goal, in his book, Joyful Productivity)
  2. I would work to find some common ground with the person I’m having a conflict with, as suggested in one of my favorite books, Dynamic Relationships by Jacqueline Stavros and Cheri Torres. The focus on Appreciative Inquiry in relationships is powerful!
  3. In the instance of working with a challenge in drawing or facilitating with a group, I would keep putting myself in the situation of having to consciously practice new behaviors. Sometimes I ask a colleague for observations and reactions about what I’m doing well and how I might enhance my work.

While there’s a saying, “How you do one thing is how you do everything” that’s not true of me… for me, it’s more nuanced. I endeavor to discover what the circumstances need and create differentiated responses.

What are your thoughts?

And if all this chat about a new lens for viewing you, your work, or your relationships feels important and worth your time and energy, please reach out to me for a complimentary call about my Appreciative Coaching work. I believe that this work and play of how we see ourselves, others, and the world is one of the most crucial and exciting challenges we all face.

What inspires you?

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This very question leapt into my mind when I viewed the beautiful impermanent earth art work of Day Schildkret, on instagram in the wee hours of the morning yesterday. I’ve seen his work before and I am awestruck.

The experience led me to think about what inspires me, and by that, I mean moving away from what people generally say—heroic actions, speeches, quotations—to what is really meaningful, powerful, and energizing for me.

My shortlist of inspiring experiences from the past few weeks

Visual beauty

  • Mayumi Oda, Japanese American visionary, read about her work here
  • A particular walk in the evening in my neighborhood
  • Dave Schildret’s work, morningaltars on Instagram. I am taking his workshop this Sunday, perhaps I will see you (on Zoom) there?

 

Writing/visual imagery

  • When Death Comes, by Mary Oliver, (find it here)
  • At Home, from The House of Belonging, by David Whyte

 

Generosity

A colleague making time in her day to support me in new learning— and going even beyond our conversation to preparing information for me and following up with more ideas and advice.

 

Kindness

Bearing witness to people’s pain and strength. I am taking the course, Living Fearlessly: Facing the Inevitable, which is about preparing for dying and death though it is really all about living too. I am struck by the deep listening, caring, and compassion that people, who were strangers before they met in this course, show to each other.  If you are curious about the course you will find more information here.

Loving kindness meditation, helping me be more compassionate and caring toward myself, family, friends, those I find difficulty connecting with, and the world…

May you be safe

May you be happy

May you be healthy

May you live with ease

Learn more from Sharon Salzberg, here

 

I’d LOVE to learn what inspires you in your everyday life.

What circumstances have arisen recently that surprise, delight, excite, and stimulate you?

I hope you will get in touch with me so that I may learn what inspires you. Perhaps we’ll even start a conversation!

Summer is waning, what are your reflections?

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Memories of long ago…

At the beginning of the summer, with the possibility of carefree days of vacation—camp, friends, sometimes a bit of travel—the idea of having to complete a summer project for high school felt like a burden. By the time the summer was over, with the project completed, I had a sense of accomplishment. As it was a time filled with fun and a bit of work, which was usually (mostly) of my own design… it was really not so bad after all.

What was your project this summer?

Was it making it through every day endeavoring to stay afloat —mentally, emotionally, and maybe financially too?  I hear you, these remain trying times.

Were you, your family, or friends touched by sickness? Members of my family and my circle of friends have been affected. Most have recovered but not all. 

Did it include thinking in new ways or maybe taking on new work? My work has changed in many ways—I miss being in the room with my participants and yet love the connections I am making across the continents too.

How are you feeling about what has changed and what remains the same? I am curious to know.

My summer project has blossomed into a coaching circle for women. 

Roots of Resilience grew out of my desire to synthesize my academic background, training in coaching, and experience across the fields of positive psychology, mindfulness, Appreciative Inquiry, Compassion, communication, and NVC/compassionate communication.

I started this project after listening to many of my women colleagues around the world talk about feeling tired, depleted, and sometimes pessimistic. I designed this circle for the folks like them and like me—women whose strengths feel buried by a combination of unforeseeable circumstances.

These have been trying times and I believe they will continue to be so for the near future. I believe it is a time to come together, share our knowledge and skills, and build them together so that we all emerge stronger, more resilient. Would being a member of a circle with women provide the foundation and the impetus to regain your resilience— to tap into your perhaps dormant knowledge and skills, and build on them?

If this work interests you, as a member of the circle, or individually, please learn more about it here. And if you are one of my colleagues who is an IFVP member, I made the offer at our annual conference this year and I will provide a discount for you. As a field, we have been hit hard by this pandemic. Scholarships are also available to those desiring to join the circle.

Please contact me with your questions. I am offering this experience in one-to-one coaching sessions too—for anyone who feels drawn to this inner work (and play).

What are you reading, watching, and listening to, in your work life, at this very moment?

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When I started considering this question, the answers began falling through my mind like an avalanche and I felt buried under the chaos! I had to create an organizing principle or two… I decided to make categories. My thinking centered around how I interact with each of the mediums rather than the content of what I was reading. Let’s see if I have made it comprehensible or… not.

I landed on a few key areas: “reference” books, books I’m actively engaged with, Kindle reading, Audible selections, magazines, newsletters, a podcast, and a recent video. I begin to wonder how I finish anything when I start to look at the number of sources I tackle in a month—and these are just the work-related sources. I have a friend who reads one book at a time… I can’t imagine it!

The reference books that I have at my side all the time, to share with colleagues are:

  • UZMO—Thinking with the Pen by Martin Haussman
  • The World of Visual Facilitation edited by Joren Blijsie, Rachel Smith, Tim Hamons (and last minute, silent editing partner, Jill Greenbaum)
  • Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman
  • A Leader in Every Chair by Christina Baldwin and Ann Linnea
  • Appreciative Living by Jackie Kelm
  • Dynamic Relationships by Jacqueline Stavros & Cheri B. Torres
  • Essentialism by Greg McKeown
  • The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
  • 168 Hours by Laura Vanderkam

So maybe these qualify as “standards” for me and not active reading…

I am actively engaged with these books

3-minute drawings with both hands simultaneously (on the right) and with my left/non-dominant hand

Making Comics by Linda Barry—This one is going a bit more slowly as I am drawing once a week with my friend and colleague Julia from Tasmania. Here are a few of my more recent humorous drawings.

Appreciative Coaching by Sara Orem, Jacqueline Binkert, and Ann Clancy

Happiness is an Inside Job by Sylvia Boorstein

and the audiobooks

Real Happiness, Sharon Salzberg

Building a Story Brand by Donald Miller

The AI facilitator certification process that I’m engaged in has had me working with the textbook, Appreciative Inquiry: Change at the Speed of Imagination by Jane Magruder Watkins, Bernard Mohr, and Ralph Kelly

Magazines by the couch  

Mindful subscription and special editions too

Daily and weekly newsletters that I make an effort to keep current with are:

 

Podcast

Staying Power Podcast with Phyllis Cole-Dai,  www.phylllis.cole-dai.podbean.com Here’s one I really liked, ”On my 58th Birthday: 58 Pandemic Prayers.” This might seem more personal than work-related—though that’s the overlap in my life and coaching circle work.

(Gosh I love to listen to podcasts, though my slight learning disability (less than stellar short term auditory memory) steers me away from this medium for work-related issues. You may ask, so why do you listen to audiobooks—good question! I listen to them as I racewalk daily—and pause them to record audio notes to myself on occasion… or buy the book, if there’s so much juicy stuff!) 

 

Recent video

TedX— Celebrate What’s Right with the World, Dewitt Jones, https://dewittjones.com/pages/tedx-dewitt-jones

 

It’s clear that I have a love of Appreciative Inquiry and positive psychology—they are the foundations of Roots of Resilience, my coaching circle for women that begins on September 21st. I hope you will choose to learn more here

 

What will you read, watch, and listen to

in this month of September?

I plan on finishing up some of the goodies I have listed above. If you’re reading any of them and want to chat—I’d love it! Lmk!

Gaining Insight and Laughing with Ourselves

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I had a moment this morning when I realized I was being consummately myself. I love those moments, don’t you? They are such great reminders! Do you find that too?

Here’s the scenario…

I’m working to complete my last in-class/synchronous assignment for the Appreciative Inquiry Facilitator certification. I need to create a simple book to show my personal plan for my continuing work in the field. So last night, even though I was running out of steam, I knew I wanted to start working on my project because it was drawing, so it was fun, and I wanted to devote some serious time to it.

I worked away and got some (not enough) good ideas on paper and put it to rest for the night. This morning I woke up refreshed, full of enthusiasm for continuing the project, and taking it in new and exciting directions.

Back & Front Covers

So as you can imagine, this work is getting bigger, taking longer, and feeling really fun and interesting. And as I continue to increase its scope, the little voice in my head says to me, “When are you going to stop? You’re just working on a draft there’s so much material here you’ve got to get it done by 11 this morning!”

Inside Pages

And then, I have another one of those metacognitive moments—once again my strength of creativity (discovered through Dr. Martin Seligman’s work, the VIA Character Strengths Survey) is getting me into trouble! And I love the realization! I CONTINUE to create, play, and refine until I come to a screeching halt at my deadline.

 

So what’s your story?

Have you thought about your strengths lately? Or, are they feeling buried by the amount of work you have to do, Zoom fatigue, and myriad other factors affecting your daily work and home life?

I’d like to offer you an opportunity—to take a bit of time for yourself, re-discover your strengths, and add some support in regaining feelings of efficacy in all the spheres of your life.

Here’s a link to the free VIA Character Strengths Survey. I’d like to politely push you to take the survey, even if you’ve done it a while ago, and see what is revealed. Then, I hope you’ll get in touch with me. I’m offering group session for people to share their results, ask questions, and learn to further access and utilize their strengths in their daily lives. We will talk about not just what your strengths are but how you can live more joyfully with them.

Here’s my challenge to you: Take the survey, reflect on your results, and then send me an email saying that you’re ready to leverage your strengths. I will hold a free Strengths Circle session on September 3rd at 7 pm ET for those that are interested, you can sign up here. Of course, I am happy to do a deep dive into personal results with those who’re interested. Please contact me for a coaching session here.

Delving into your strengths is the first step in my newest coaching program, Roots of Resilience. This Circle is for women who want to remember, reclaim, deepen and develop their capacities to feel stronger, more engaged, and connected to themselves, their families, friends, and colleagues, in the changing world we live in now.

This program shares core concepts and practices in five key areas that, when working in concert, have a synergistic effect. To learn more about the Roots of Resilience Circle, look here and reach out to me with your questions. I’m so excited to bring this unique combination of research, practices, and circle work to you.